Addressing Taboos in the Dating Scene

Addressing Taboos in the Dating Scene – by Kat Watson (Matchmaker, After Hello)

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We all have something we’re unsure of how to address in the dating scene—something a little out of the ordinary, maybe even embarrassing or taboo. In my case, it’s a physical disability that is, quite literally, staring across the table. Even if it’s not as visible as the loss of an eye, there’s always "that thing" you’ll have to bring up if things progress—and you hope they do.

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The first and most important step is deciding how YOU feel about it. Your own feelings will shape the confidence with which you present it, and the message you send may be very different from what you think. If you present it as something embarrassing or to be hidden, your date will likely sense that same discomfort. But if you treat it as no big deal, something that doesn’t really affect your life, they will likely follow your lead. And if you’re bold and proud of it, you might even spark curiosity, admiration, and deeper conversations. The power to set the tone is entirely in your hands.

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So, when should you bring up “that thing”? The truth is, there’s no right or wrong answer—just the option that feels best for you and the situation at hand. Here are a few approaches:

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1. Ignore it

You could choose not to bring it up at all and go on as if it’s not a factor, at least as far as you’re comfortable. For some, this might be the easiest route. But remember, not addressing it also means you might miss out on connecting with someone at a deeper level of understanding. And that’s okay, too—this approach is about what makes you feel comfortable.

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2. Address it upfront

This might look like referencing it in your dating profile or making light of it with a witty joke (maybe something pirate-themed). This approach gives you control of the narrative and allows you to set the tone. It also opens the door for questions and deeper conversations, which can lead to more meaningful connections.

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3. Build trust first

It’s your story to share, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. This approach gives you the time to build a connection and share when you feel safe and ready. It’s about waiting until there’s enough trust and understanding to comfortably open up on your own terms.

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Working with a matchmaker is a great way to create a buffer when it comes to sharing personal information. In our matchmaking services, we can have those conversations with potential matches on your behalf, making sure they understand and are open before you even meet. With dating app management, we can help guide how you present it in your profile or during early exchanges, ensuring it feels authentic and comfortable for you. This allows you to connect with people who are genuinely on the same page, without the emotional weight or potential misunderstandings that can come from handling it alone.

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Ultimately, how and when you share is entirely up to you. The most important thing is to stay true to yourself and choose the path that makes you feel empowered and comfortable. Whether you decide to bring it up right away or wait until trust is built, embracing your story with confidence allows you to form deeper, more meaningful connections.

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